Sacrifice of the White Goddess

The story tells the tale of Holly (Francine Chevalier), a down-on-her-luck
college student who will do just about anything for a couple of bucks. She
finds a book on Mayan legends that describes a city full of gold, so she
breaks up with her boyfriend and heads down to Mexico to try her luck at
finding this fabled city. Now, considering that this was a school textbook
that she found in the library, I personally might have thought twice before
purchasing that plane ticket, but… oh, never mind. She eventually meets up
with Lisa (Lisa Beavers) and Dobbsie (Steve McKinney), and after Lisa
purchases an old map from the town drunk, the trio heads off into the wild
jungles of Mexico in search of treasure. What they find instead is a tribe of
Mayan Indians – Indians, as in, the native American variety.

Now, as I mentioned in the opening of this review, some allowances do have to
be made when watching a low-budget offering. However, this film simply asks
for too much out of the viewer, and to make matters even worse, there simply
isn’t any sort of payoff to make it all seem worth it. The video and audio
quality are both atrocious, the cast is made up of people who were a small
step away from reading off of cue cards in terms of their “performances”, the
storyline is weak, and there’s more padding here than in Nicole Ritchie’s bra.

Let me break down the entire storyline here to show just how padded this affair
really is. Holly reads a book and finds out about these cities. She catches a
plane to Mexico where she meets Lisa and Dobbsie. They have a few beers before
heading out into the “jungle” (which looked more like a forest to me, but who
am I to judge). They hike through the jungle. They hike through the jungle some
more. They hike through the jungle just a little more. Lisa falls in the calm
and shallow river from a height of about three feet and dies. A band of the most
stereotypical Mexicans you’ll ever see appears and kills Dobbsie. The Indians
show up and abduct Holly. Holly gets axed. The credits roll. The movie only runs
for a little over an hour, but I swear that it felt like an eternity to me.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the entire movie is narrated by Holly as she reads
a script that had to have been written by a full-fledged, bra-burning man-hater.
If you think that the Lifetime channel was geared towards women, just wait until
you catch a few of the lines that are read off here in a failed attempt at adding
some substance to this schlock. I honestly have no clue as to where this stuff
came from as the film was directed by a man and features a fair amount of T&A
action, but it’s certainly there for the “wimmin” in the audience who like that
sort of thing.

The only good thing that I can say about this offering is that it’s pretty much
a free movie if you pick up Camp Motion Pictures’ White Slave Collection which
includes this, White Slave, and Naked Amazon. Pick up the set for the latter two
movies, but just pretend that it’s a double-feature instead of a triple. 1/10.”