Doom Asylum movie

Year: 1987

Duration: 01:18:44

Directed by: Richard Friedman

Actors: Patty Mullen, Ruth collins , Kristin Davies

Language: English

Country: USA

Also known as:La casetta degli orrori , Schronienie przeznaczenia

Description: Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to shell out a dollar for an honest night’s worth of entertainment. But not all is lost. At least I know what happens when people forget to take their daily pills: a drop-dead abomination like Doom Asylum.

After the limp Blood Diner, I made a promise to myself that I’d never sit through another late 80s horror comedy. While shelf perusing at the video store, I took note of Doom Asylum’s tagline: “It’ll send shivers up your funny bone.” Ugh…what? That’s got to be one of the laziest examples of box copy that I’ve ever encountered. So what did I do? Rental. I’ve never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the shed.

If Doom Asylum wasn’t so obscure, I wouldn’t have thought twice. It’s a brainless, padded out botch that’ll surely stifle the creative energy in anyone. It’s crafted that poorly. Combining PG-13 grapejuice blood effects with jokes that were probably rejected from a “Full House” script, the film struggles to relate the story of our killer pal, “The Coroner.” After winning a huge settlement, a lawyer and his girlfriend make out and crash their car. She dies, he lives; even comes back to life mid-autopsy. Ten years later, The Coroner (rubber zombie mask, curly mullet) has taken up residency in an old Jersey asylum (Essex Mountain, supposedly haunted in real life), sharing his space with a female goth/noise rock band called Tina And The Tots. A group of five complete mongoloids visit the asylum because one of the girls, Kiki, is apparently the daughter of The Coroner’s girlfriend, who died in the car crash. Got it? The remainder of the film is padded out with wisecrack kill scenes (“Relax and go with the flow. HAHAHAHAHA!”) and random footage from old Tod Slaughter films. Now that’s a little something I like to call ingenuity.

While I could have laughed at plenty of the unintentionally funny moments (sound effects from “Pee Wee’s Playhouse,” gay actor trying desperately to act straight, Tina And The Tots’ rip-ass performances), I didn’t. The film was supposed to be intentionally funny, but I didn’t laugh at those jokes either. I tried to look at Doom Asylum for what it was, but the photography and acting were ridiculously bad. I mean terrible. I’m just going to quietly return this film and imagine it never happened. Ah well, at least director Richard Friedman went on to bigger and better things…like Phantom Of The Mall.

Review of Doom Asylum: Ten years ago the body of the killed in a car accident father Kiki was taken to the nearest clinic, after which it began their massacre of patients and staff. Deciding to still understand what actually happened to her father, Kiki in the company of friends is going to place mysterious crimes.

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Doom Asylum

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